✦ Jokes ✦

What’s the difference between a dad joke and an athletic rabbit?

One’s a bit funny… and the other’s a fit bunny.

I'm never donating blood again! They ask way too many questions...

Whose blood is this? Where did it come from? Why is it in a bucket?!

I asked his girl out for coffee. She said: “Great, how about 10 tomorrow?”

10 is a mental amount of coffees to drink. Date cancelled.

Dwalin: Why did the Environmental Protection Agency shut down the Town of Lake?

Balin: Too much Smaug!

What did Gimli say when Frodo took his cologne?

"You have my Axe!"

Bilbo: Sméagol, how can I get in touch with Sauron?

Sméagol: Easy! Just give him a Ring!

What happens when orcs smoke pipe-weed?

They become Uruk-high!

Frodo: How did Sauron let us sneak into Mordor?

Sam: Eye don't know.

Aragorn: How did Gandalf the Grey turn into Gandalf the White?

Arwen: He sent his garments to the Un-dying Lands.

What happened to the three strands of hair that Galadriel gave to Gimli?

They became a hairloom.

How did Treebeard get a new gig?

He branched out.

Why did Legolas doubt himself?

He had elf esteem issues.

Did you know the Barrow-downs are a segregated neighborhood?

Wights only.